Wyndspirit Dreams
Prairie rose



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June 18, 2003

The "If..." Project: March 2001 (Archive)

If given the challenge, could you live without a mirror for one week? How much emphasis do you place on the outward appearance you show the world?

Could I live without a mirror for a week? Easily! Actually, I find my self-esteem improves greatly when I am not faced with my own appearance. When I am not thinking about how I look, I donít feel self-conscious, and the real ďmeĒ comes out. I feel smart, funny, sometimes even wise, and people seem to enjoy my company.

Then I pass a mirror and think, ďOh my goodness, that is what theyíre seeing!Ē And I feel all ugly and clumsy and just a horrible person. Then it passes, till the next time Iím faced with a mirror.

What I tend to forget is, that is how people see me, but they still treat me like Iím an interesting, fun person to hang out with. Other people honestly couldnít care less what I look likeóthey like me for me! And I donít judge other people by their appearance, either. It is always a mystery to me why I canít give my own self the same respect and appreciation I give to others and that most everybody else gives to me.

One of lifeís mysteries, I guess. Iím fine so long as I donít look in a mirror.

How much emphasis do I place on the outward appearance I show the world? Too much, and yet not enough. In other words, I dislike the way I look, but not enough to bother to change it. My hairstyle is not at all flattering, but itís easy care, and I like it that way. I donít have the time or interest to start messing with my hair. Iíve been that route, in my younger days when I had people I cared to impress, but I simply donít care any longer. And I have never learned to use cosmetics, even though I know it would give me a much more polished appearance in the work world. I know that these days modestly-applied cosmetics is actually considered simply good grooming, and it looks like I canít be bothered to care about my appearance, which does not look very professional. Unfortunately, thatís pretty much true.

Appearance is over-rated, but itís true that it is also the first impression you make. However, Iíve been uninterested in impressing anybody for so long, I donít think Iím capable of impressing anybody any longer. And thatís OK, because I am no longer interested in associating with the kind of people who are impressed by outward appearances.