June 23, 2004
Last week I did something Iíve never done before. I paid somebody else to mow my lawn. While my lawn got mowed, I worked on the computer. This week Mom and Dad came up and helped me with my yard work. All I did was a little edge mowing and trimming. The job got done much faster and I wasnít completely worn out, so I thoroughly weeded a flower garden that had been all but ignored all last summer because I simply didnít have the time and energy for it.
I think realizing you can no longer do it all is a kind of letting go. We all become too attached to everything in our lives, including our independence. And there comes a time when we need to let go. Unfortunately, when things become too much for us to handle, itís usually the things we want to do that we give up, to make time for the stuff that absolutely has to get done, whether we want to do it or not.
I was at the end of my tether last week when the kid showed up asking if I wanted him to mow. I had been out of town, I had just finished up a major project, and I was in trouble with the trailer park management for not taking proper care of my yard. Even though I could not afford it, I let him mow. And I had a revelation.
I have choices.
It was a sacrifice either way. I could sacrifice some money and somehow manage to scrimp and do without it, or I could give up a good chunk of my day to mow and trim and spend the next day in pain, because I have some stuff going on with my arms and hands. Are two days of freedom to do what I choose to do worth fifteen bucks? I think so.
I donít like not being able to do it all myself anymore, but I can choose to give up the stuff I donít want to do anyway, but do because it has to be done. I can spend several hours mowing my huge lawn and spend the next day recuperating from it, or I can spend some money and go work in my flower garden or even go back in the house if I want while my lawn gets mowed. This summer I am unemployed, so I will probably still try to mow the lawn myself as often as I can. Still, it helps to realize that if I mow, itís by choice. I donít have to mow.
If time is money, the reverse is also trueómoney is time. And time is the most precious commodity a person can own.